They Named Their Child, What?!
In celebration of Middle Name Appreciation Day, we’re gonna talk about some of the most outrageous celebrity baby names that are out there. And guys, I’m not making any of these up. Google them. They’re real.
(And just as a disclaimer, these are in no particular order from worse to worst. These are simply in order in which I found them.)
Pilot Inspektor Lee
Whose child is this, anyway? Well, do you remember Dave from Alvin and the Chipmunks? No? Well, let me remind you.
Surely, you remember him. Well, he was the great comedian who decided to name his first born son, Pilot Inspektor Lee.
I don’t know what’s worse about his son’s name. Is it the Pilot part or the Inspektor part? You tell me.
How did he get this great idea? Well, in an interview, Lee said that he and his partner at the time, actress Beth Riesgraf, got the idea for their son’s name from Grandaddy’s song, “He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot.”
Might I add that after Pilot, Jason and his ex-wife went on to have two more children: Casper Lee and Sonny Lee. I think it’s safe to say that the couple learned a little more about naming their children.
Saint Lazslo Wentz
Now, you may not see what’s so wrong with this middle name at first glance, but let me explain it to you. Lazslo is the name of Hungarian king who was later dubbed a Saint. Therefore, Fall Out Boy bassist’s youngest son’s name is Saint “Saint” Wentz.
Good job, Pete. You’ve got great naming skills.
Audio Science Clayton
Are there any Sleepy Hollow fans out there? If so, who’s a fan of the actress who play Pandora? Well here’s a nice, fact for you: She named her son Audio Science. That’s right, you didn’t misread that.
♡ food coma | family dinner | many magical beings not pictured ♡ photo by @dallasclayton A photo posted by Shannyn Sossamon (@shansossamon) on
Little Audio is not so little anymore. He’s now 12 years old and loving his name? I don’t know. What would you do if your name was Audio Science?
“We wanted a word not a name, so my boyfriend read through the dictionary three or four times.We were going to call him Science, but thought it might get shortened to Sci, as in Simon,” the actress says in an interview where she spoke about how her and her husband chose their son’s name.
Everly Bear Kiedis
Now here’s the thing about this celebrity baby: a) Everly is one of my favorite names ever, b) This kid’s dad is Anthony Kiedis, the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ lead singer, but c) why. is. his. middle. name. Bear?!
Like I said before, I absolutely love Anthony Kiedis, but why? Why is his son’s middle name Bear?! Someone get Anthony on the phone, I need an answer! The only thing we do know about how Everly got his name is that he was named after Kiedis’ favorite band, The Everly Brothers. I guess that makes up for the middle name, but still, why couldn’t his middle name be Nicholas or John or anything else?
Apple Blythe Alison Martin
Now, here, this child’s name doesn’t actually have anything wrong with their middle name, but their first name is a little… well, it makes you hungry. Coldplay’s Chris Martin and actress, Gwyneth Paltrow, are to blame for this child’s name. The singer and actress named their first born, their daughter, Apple. Now, I personally don’t have anything against having the name of a fruit in your name, but why as the child’s first name? When asked how Apple received her name, Paltrow said that Martin was the one who pitched the name and to her “it sounded so sweet, and it conjures such a lovely picture for [her].” Isn’t that interesting? Apple is now 12 and there has never been a story about Apple getting bullied for her name, so good job Gwenyth and Chris, I guess.
Bronx Mowgli Wentz
Up next we have another one of Pete Wentz’s bright ideas for a baby name. Back in 2008 when Pete was married to Ashlee Simpson, the couple had a son. They went on to name that beautiful baby boy, Bronx Mowgli Wentz.
Does that middle name ring a bell? It sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Well, that’s because it’s from a Disney classic. You guessed right, folks! Simpson and Wentz named their son after the protagonist from The Jungle Book.
If you’re a Fall Out Boy fan, you know that back in the day, Pete was a huge Disney fan, therefore the name Mowgli didn’t come as much of a surprise. A few days after Bronx was born, in 2008, Pete did an interview with Ryan Seacrest on KIIS FM and explained that “The Jungle Book’ was something that [he] and Ashlee bonded over, so … [it was] a cool name.” Well, good for you (again) Pete. You did a great-ish job.
Kyd Miller Duchovny
Are you a fan of The X-Files? If so, you’re going to love this! FBI Agent Fox Mulder has two kids IRL (in real life, in case you didn’t know what that meant) and one of them has a pretty extraordinary name. That’s right, Agent Mulder (otherwise known as David Duchovny), named his son Kyd. This is pronounced like “Kid,” only spelled with a “y.” https://twitter.com/2009ryro/status/710682099850694656 Why, you ask? Well, as I was doing my research, I couldn’t come up with any interviews or anything Duchovny or his ex-wife may have said on the topic. I’ll just email Agent Mulder and see if he can come up with anything. But for now, I’ll leave that interpretation up to you guys.
Tu Simone Ayer Morrow
The last one comes from another TV crime show actor, Rob Morrow. When you take out all the extra names between Tu and Morrow, you’re left with, Tu Morrow. Yep, that’s right, it’s read as “tomorrow.” Don’t ask me why because I really don’t know. Maybe he came up with the name the night before she was born. I mean, it would only make sense, right? Kind of?
The Numb3rs star has really only had one thing to say about his 15-year-old daughter’s name: “It’s tradition! She is debonaire!”
To this day, though, when Morrow posts a picture of his daughter on Instagram, he uses “TSM” as her name. Is it because he regrets her name now or is it really just a little nickname? Who knows!
You know, sometimes I wonder what goes through anyone’s mind, not just celebrities’, when it comes to the name of their child.
If you, or someone you know, has more information on some outrageous celebrity baby names, feel free to comment below. I’d love to learn more about these things.
Until next time, folks.
