Growing up was tough. Having no way to contact my dad had an everlasting effect on my ideal childhood. My mom and dad never got along and once my dad knew I was born, he couldn’t fathom the thought of having another child. He packed his bags, never to be seen nor heard from again. The thought of growing up with my mom always left me in distress. What would it be like at my parent teacher conferences? How would I have my first ever father-daughter dance? Or how would it feel to have a father figure in my life? When I was 9 years of age, these thoughts started flowing in my head as if I was getting trampled over a stampede of animals. This was the first time I ever felt true abandonment that led me into a deep depression. Even my mom had a hard time talking to me. She always asked a list of questions like: “What’s going on? How could I help? What can I do to make you feel better?” All I could think about was “Why did my father leave us?” I always thought I was going to see my dad someday.

Going to school, these thoughts still hindered me. My grades started slipping, friendships ended, but there was one friend that stuck by my side, her name was Tara. Tara has been my friend since kindergarten, some may even say she’s my ride or die…we were too young to even know what that meant. She always came by my house every morning screaming at the top of her lungs: “It’s time to go to school!” and every morning without fail, I came outside with a huge smile on my face. Tara always started the conversations with: “Did you eat breakfast and if you did what did you eat?” I always gave her the same answer everyday: “I ate a Cap’n Crunch Cereal with a lot of milk.” Some may say I’m wasting milk, but I always loved milk and I drank a lot of it daily.

One night I came home to news I thought I never would have heard in my life. My dad wanted to see me! That night, I went to sleep only thinking of the day that I could finally see him. 

The thought of seeing my dad made me happy. After many months of on and off depression, I could truly feel joy. Every morning I woke up looking my prettiest, washing my hair and with my mom’s assistants help, I picked out my hair style of the day so when it was time to see him, I would feel just that much better about myself. I always told myself that today is the day I’m finally seeing my dad. When I saw him I didnt know how to feel, all I remember was my sobbing tears while running towards him, giving him the biggest hug of his life. Soon Enough he uttered the words: “How have you been buttercup?”